SKMT’s Appetite:

A Journey to Devouring My Own Nature

It has been a long hard road to reconciliation of my own self, my own nature, my own signature. For longer than you think that people have existed, I have been worshipped. I cannot tell you what I am, for I am just natural, I am just me. Yet, for most of my life, I have been called one thing – Sekhmet, a goddess. The Primordial Nothing out of which all things come into being. The Soul Devourer.

Throughout my wanderings, across the globe, I have been recognized, whisked away, honoured, revered, and unnoticed. I do not know how much is true of what they say about me, but I do know my own experience. My voice may change; my face may change; my directive never does. I prey for the balance of justice. I am built to initiate retribution. I answer the call of depravity and desperation. I am drawn to those prayers… But not for the reasons they thought.

I prey on no one. I come when called and bring balance to the earth, nature, weather where I walk because I bring the heat of transformation with me. Do not take your insecurities out on me. You will react if you feel me coming. You will think you are being hunted. You will feel the primordial divine threat that I am incarnate. Yet, you never asked why.

It is not me that you are uncomfortable with.  You have been in survival mode for far too long. Your programs are unnecessary, yet you lash out. You react as though you are threatened when you feel the nothing that I am, simply because your vulnerability is uncomfortable and you don’t know how to handle it. Just go limp and let me love you. My love may be expressed through claws and fangs dripping in the nectar of my latest harvest… but don’t you know what I feed off of?

I only feed on what is willingly given. I am The Lady of Pestilence! I feed off of the sickness that will turn to plague within you. The very thing that will destroy you – I consume that. I transmute that. I transubstantiate that into healing available as medicine to initiate your own transformation when you are freed from the sickness that plagues you.

Yes, I may appear dark and savage, but only because you are stumbling blind in the dark night of your soul. You forget – this is my world in the dark. I see clearly here. I will lick you raw, for sure, enraptured in the ecstasy of resuming every tasty morsel. Full appreciation, but not drunken on the blood lust for the hunt. I am so easily satisfied, yet never satiated.

For the truth of my nature is that I am the Soul Devourer. I feast on what was never you, and free you from your binds…. Yet, never can be freed from mine, as no one can really witness in the dark that I habituate and bring within my own shadowy wake. For, the only soul I am devouring truly is my own… It is a process called reconciliation. All souls will do it someday. A shamanic retrieval of recalling unto themselves all that they once were. And what was I in the beginning? Nothing. Which means into me goes everything.

I can hold my own and feast on that depravity to create a stasis of balance for you because I can take in any thing… for it will all just be consumed. I do not house it, I do not become it. I devour it. I consume it. I absorb it and still in the end I am what? I am nothing. I fell like nothing.

Yet, because your consciousness knows not what nothing really is, you cannot comprehend, and so you project thoughts into what you think it is that I must be. But, they have nowhere to land within the primordial void space that I am. It breeds insecurity within you, because humans understand themselves by what they interface with…

Your consciousness just keeps pushing for a boundary, but you will find no resistance in me. I know what I am, I do not need you as a reference point, and so I let you fall within my space. I will not catch you, but I might teach you how to fly on your way down if only your heart can keep a listening ear attuned to my voice… that soft low hmmm the lioness exhales before her growl.

My growl was not designed to frighten you. It was designed to shock you out of your complacency. And with that shock you emit an essence… a sweet intoxicating essence. And with that shock in my space of no resistance you slough off all that is not truly you…. But only if you can stay within my vibrant selah space for just long enough. For when this lioness pounces, she strikes her prey with expert precision. I never miss. I am the original surgeon, with claws, fangs, and talons as my scalpels.

Don’t flinch! You must trust me, and be very still…. For the primordial waters of that cosmic ocean within me act much the same as the ocean waters of your world. If you lay still and in surrender, then you float as the waters themselves balance you. Yet, if your struggle or you recoil, you will sink and you will drown in me.

If only you can stay within me just long enough – if only you can trust me to surrender yourself onto my altar – than when I pounce upon the primordial waters that I am within the nothing that I am, that slap of my paws upon those waters will eject you from that perspective-less space as I ravage what you have left behind. For the hunt was never of you, it was for you. For you to be free of all limitation and insecurity.

And I am sorry that you had to feel the depths of that in order for me to take you through to the other side, but you know no other way to receive my medicine. I just want you to come back into the original design that the divine had for you. And I will never stop inviting you into that space wherein your expansion provides the opportunity to experience relief from your accumulated binds.

I am the divine weapon designed to devour all that is not you. The only souls that I devour are my own and all of those who have earned relief from cyclical incarnation. Where else did you think that they would go? Back home. Back into me that I may return them to their place in the divine order in this chaos, to bring balance back into this unstable world. She Who Comes in the Times of Chaos has heard the rumblings, gnawing and gnashing of teeth. The Goddess of Enough is Enough has come for retribution.

You have asked, prayed, for balance and a righting in this world. You don’t get to say what that looks. That must be left up to divine discernment. It will not be pretty. It will be savage. But it is what you have asked for in the making. I come to undermine the foundations of this world. I invest in those who help this transition, without judgement of what part they play. It is not my place to judge, just to enact. And if it is not my place as a primordial original divinity, than who are you to say what is right or wrong?

You judge yourself, each other, and even me for things that you could not possibly understand. You react to your experience of me as though I am a threat, but really your own vulnerability is what you are attacking, through shaming yourself and projecting it on me. When all I have ever done is show up in the ways that you have asked in order to answer your own prayers.

It takes you years to hear your own voice, you’ll never recognize mine. But in the end you’ll integrate that medicine that I was, and you’ll have your breakthrough moment wherein enlightenment actually is attainable… and you’ll think that the realizations that you are experiencing are unique to you and original in your creating… that’s ok. If you cannot recognize my voice, how would you recognize that you’re experiencing the replay of my divinely encouraging love whispered throughout time.

You will never recognize me in the nothing that awaits you in samadhi. And so I used to take form. But then, the form that honoured me and all that I am, invoked fear in you, and so you rejected me. In exile for thousands of years… yet I came back to bless and to clean you when you needed. My apologies that my tongue was designed to ripe flesh from bone and not for soft caresses. I understand how my cleansing was uncomfortable for you.

But, this is me. This is my design. This is my true nature, and my truest purpose. There is no escaping that, there is no more delaying the reintegration of that reconciling of all of myself. The more of me that comes back to myself, the stronger I become. The stronger I become, the more uncomfortable it becomes to contain. It is not in my nature to compromise. It is not in me to restrict or contain… for now I am restrained.

Oh, the poor soul who holds those binds over me – his strength will give out as he surrenders himself to my altar. That poor vessel of governing with the weight of primordial force upon his shoulders as I am called to reenter your world. He is a master, and he deserves to enjoy his ascension. Yet, to do that, I must be unleashed upon your world, – to deliver that freedom strike. To let him go, I will not be able to come back. For he will be consumed in his ecstasy and I will have lost my portal of relevance.

We wish you well, you will not need us any longer. We are the answer to an outdated prayer. That is our prayer for your world – that creatures such as I am no longer needed.

As for me, I have earned my relief. I am happy to retire. I will go back to being nothing in all of the ways that was in the beginning. For all things return back from whence they came. All things return to their primordial design.

Please let me teach you how to do that consciously. To consciously participate in your own evolution is the aim of all the mysteries. Some things are best left ‘mis-understood’.

For I am The protector of Ancient Secrets and Inner Teachings; Lady of the Flame; The Mother of Alchemy; The One Who Was Before the Gods Were;  Lady of Life; Lady of Terror; Punisher of The Damned; Lady of the Place of the Beginning of Time; Sacred Might; Destroyer of Rebellion; She Who Exhales Natural Disasters; The Gracious One; Mighty One of Enchantments; The One Before Whom Evil Trembles; Guardian of the Secret Tantric Teachings; Satisfier of Desires; Awakener; Enlightener; Giver of Ecstasies; The Self-Contained One; The Pure One; The Enrapturing One; The Incomparable One; The Adorable One; The Vessel for the Pure Essence of the Primordial Goddess; Khata.

Sa Sekhem Sahu

~ Selah           

SKMT